Do Soulmates Replace Best Friends?

I never questioned where I stood in my best friend’s life until today.  A simple post helped to make me aware that I am not the most important person in her life – and honestly that stung.  I realize that sounds like a egotistic way of thinking but I remember a time when my best friend was the first person I wanted to tell anything and vice versa.  Now I feel like an afterthought, some would say a third wheel, like the annoying friend you include because you feel obligated.  I guess the weird sense of hurt I feel is due to my constant need to be needed.  I’ve felt that none of my friends need me like they used to and today just kind of confirmed it for me.

Right now I have no interest in a romantic relationship.  And I’m not jealous of my friends that are in them.  But today made me wonder if I’m going to gradually lose all my friends to their relationships.  Is that just the way life goes?  I’ve always heard people say that their spouse is their best friend but I never really thought much about it until now.  So if your spouse is your best friend then where does that leave all those you called best friend before them?  Is it time to accept that what I define as a best friend is no longer acceptable?

Maybe this shows a lack of maturity on my part.  Perhaps best friends are just meant to be place holders until you find your soulmate and I’m simply being replaced.  No one stops to tell me the details of their day anymore.  I’m no longer the assumed plus one, as I was in college.  I’m not the one she shares new dreams and aspirations with.  And gone are the days we spent all day hanging out and had deep conversations that continued long after midnight.  It could simply be that I moved to a new place and haven’t really made new friends yet but I’m really starting to feel like all of my friendships have faded.  And I can’t stand the  thought that this lingering loneliness will continue until I find my soulmate…

Reflection Caused By Death

Why does it take death to make us appreciative of what we have? Why don’t we take the time to reflect on our lives normally? Yesterday I found out that a girl my age died. Unfortunately I can’t describe her as a friend because I never had the pleasure of meeting her but she touched the lives of so many that I do know. Even though I didn’t know her personally, hearing of her sudden death made me very emotional. I struggled because I was faced with the idea that social media makes us feel like we remain connected with old friends but in reality we’ve lost our once close connection.

People that were my closest friends years ago were clearly filled with grief and I struggled to decide if it was okay for me to offer them consolation. I realized that it is very selfish for me to focus on how awkward I may feel and decided to send a casual message of comfort to some one who was once my best friend. He clearly appreciated the gesture and for a moment it was like the years of disconnect didn’t matter. I have come to think that somehow I am the only one who struggles with lost friendships. It seems like all of the friends I’ve lost, either from a falling out or just simply due to distance and time, just kept going on with their lives without our friendship. I on the other hand truly miss them and I have the good memories in constant replay in my mind. I don’t like that it’s almost impossible to keep up with friends no matter how hard you try. I hate that you naturally grow apart from some friends. And most of all I hate that social media gives us a false feeling of connection to friends who have truthfully become strangers.

Maybe it’s the rainy weather or the beginning of fall but I really feel like I’ve lost the best friends I could ask for and they cannot be replaced. Now no one pushes me to tell them how I’m really feeling. No one cares enough to just check in. I feel like no one needs me any more. I used to have friends that couldn’t go a day without talking to me and now few conversations occur with my friends unless I start them.