Life Isn’t Always Fun and That’s Okay

I’ve come to realize that not every minute of every day can be full of happiness and excitement.  There are monotonous moments in life and that’s okay.  I think living in a day where we post and see so much happiness on social media has finally started to affect me.  I had begun to think that if every minute wasn’t exciting and fun then I needed to make some big change in my life.  Now I see that life simply can’t always be carefree and fun.  While it is important to enjoy life and live each day to the fullest I can’t dismiss the more challenging and boring moments of life as unacceptable.

I just entered a time of reflection and realized that I am so blessed that I have reached a point in my life where I am truly happy.  I wrongfully thought that when I achieved this level of happiness that I would never again experience boredom or sadness or any other unpleasant emotion again.  I don’t know why I had this unrealistic expectation but I did.  Now that I’ve woken up and realized that life isn’t all about having fun, I’ve learned how to allow myself to feel all my emotions without feeling like a failure.

I tend to procrastinate any assignment that I do not find enjoyable or when I would rather spend my time doing something fun.  I realize now that sometimes in life we have to do things we don’t like in order to see our dreams come true.  I wouldn’t want to procrastinate the fruition of my dreams, so why do I procrastinate the necessary steps to make my dreams come true?

Every moment may not be “Instagram-worthy” but that’s okay!  I still love the life that I get to live and I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about it, even the dull and difficult moments.

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Reflection Caused By Death

Why does it take death to make us appreciative of what we have? Why don’t we take the time to reflect on our lives normally? Yesterday I found out that a girl my age died. Unfortunately I can’t describe her as a friend because I never had the pleasure of meeting her but she touched the lives of so many that I do know. Even though I didn’t know her personally, hearing of her sudden death made me very emotional. I struggled because I was faced with the idea that social media makes us feel like we remain connected with old friends but in reality we’ve lost our once close connection.

People that were my closest friends years ago were clearly filled with grief and I struggled to decide if it was okay for me to offer them consolation. I realized that it is very selfish for me to focus on how awkward I may feel and decided to send a casual message of comfort to some one who was once my best friend. He clearly appreciated the gesture and for a moment it was like the years of disconnect didn’t matter. I have come to think that somehow I am the only one who struggles with lost friendships. It seems like all of the friends I’ve lost, either from a falling out or just simply due to distance and time, just kept going on with their lives without our friendship. I on the other hand truly miss them and I have the good memories in constant replay in my mind. I don’t like that it’s almost impossible to keep up with friends no matter how hard you try. I hate that you naturally grow apart from some friends. And most of all I hate that social media gives us a false feeling of connection to friends who have truthfully become strangers.

Maybe it’s the rainy weather or the beginning of fall but I really feel like I’ve lost the best friends I could ask for and they cannot be replaced. Now no one pushes me to tell them how I’m really feeling. No one cares enough to just check in. I feel like no one needs me any more. I used to have friends that couldn’t go a day without talking to me and now few conversations occur with my friends unless I start them.